Hell of a week

I've slept a grand total of 25 hours this week. I'm surprised I've not keeled over and passed out.

I've written two lengthy essays that make up nearly half of the marks in two of my subjects. I've written another three features for work. Some came easy, others were a b****. I'm surprised it still hasn't put me off writing and am making another post here.

Starting next week, I'll be on a month's leave from work. But I won't be getting much of a chance to laze on my lovely four-poster bed, stare at my toenails and look out of the window, with Jack Johnson soothing voice in the background and iced tea in my hands.

But that's fine by me, because I'll be working with children. I don't expect it to be a walk in the park, but it'll be a great learning experience and will remind me what's it like to be a child, as we all once were.

Many people seem to have clean forgotten that, and are not tolerant of children. I've seen how some people shoot a crossed look at parents, who are desperately trying to calm down a crying child. It sickens me, those people, who have neither empathy nor soul.

The thing about children is, they are so open. When they are in distress, they show it by crying, something we adults have been trained not to do by holding back our emotions. So, why don't we all just be more understanding and give the child a chance to learn?

Being a parent is not easy, that's for sure. Some parents are clueless about how to handle a child, and that's why I think it's important to know about child psychology. Not just for children, but also for yourself. The theory is, your early childhood (0-6 years) make up a very huge part of who you are right now.

Some of you may have watched Supernanny, about this lady going around helping families with children, who exhibit behavioural problems. But if you have ever paid close attention, you'll realise that:

1) Children model after their parents: if you shout at your children, they'll shout back at you. If you hit them, they'll hit back at you or their friends.

2) Children, like adults, need to be told their limits: if you let them throw their toys around, they'll start throwing other things around.

3) Some children, like some adults, misbehave because they want to be loved: It's a mistaken goal and children do it because they are insecure and want attention. That's why it's important to spend quality time with them and to catch them doing something good, because that'll reinforce good behaviour. Notice how we always tend to punish them when they do something wrong but never praise them when they do something right, like putting their toys away?

4) On another note, because I know a little more about the subject than the average person - children are born with different temperaments: the easy going, the cautious and the daredevil.

Another highlight of my week is I got to speak to those women, who excel in male-dominated fields and raise a family at the same time (remember from my first ever entry titled A Woman's Courage?) I would have told you all about it if I'm not so sleepy.

So, it has been one hell of a week for me - in a good way. Yawn...catch up with you soon...

PS: I often wonder why people have children. Is it because they think it's a natural thing to do? One of my teachers once said: children cannot give you happiness, but they can certainly enrich your lives. What do you think?

Da Vinci Code

I read the novel by Dan Brown last year, on a plane to and from Sydney. Needless to say, it was a riveting page-turner.

Earlier today, I watched the celluloid adapation starring Tom Hanks, Ian McKellan and Audrey Tatou. There's only so much info a film can squeeze in, so I would have to say I enjoyed the paperback version much more (plus the couple behind me didn't know how to keep their mouth shut).

It's hard to separate Da Vinci Code from religion (a topic, if you recall, which I normally prefer to hold my tongue on).

From the Christian and Islamic perspectives, Jesus never married. He was miraculously brought into this world by Mary, who's a Virgin. In the Final days, Jesus, who has been sheltered by God since Cruxificion, will be sent down to earth to fight off the Devil and bring salvation to mankind. Uncanny isn't it, the similarites between the two oldest religions the world has ever known.

But I don't want to speculate who's probably right and who might have got it wrong. I prefer to cogitate on the thing that matters - faith (and perhaps spirituality).

There's a Creator for everything. That chair you're sitting on, that phone you pick up to speak to somebody thousands of miles away. The world was created by the Big Bang - which was created by a Creator.

At least that's what I believe.

If God has so much love, why then does He allow so much sufferings? Now that's a question I'll get answered when I meet my Maker.

Before that day comes, I prefer to keep a peace of mind and not get into a mental knot.

May you sleep in peace, too.

A Girl's Things

Okay enough about politics and men for awhile. Let's talk about something fluffy and frilly.

I own 30-odd pairs of shoes (one for each day of the month!). My dearest are from Nine West (pictured) and Aldo for $200+ each. I would have loved to strut in Jimmy Choos or Manolo Blahniks, but I would have to bag three more promotions before I could take home at least one pair a month.

We have some cool local brands, which are inspired by designer labels and going for a fraction of the price. New stocks come in every month (tell me, how's a girl supposed to resist?).

Their quality is, of course, not on par with their well-heeled cousins. There had been more than one occasion when the straps or heels snapped or broke while I'm off to something important, re-routing me to the nearest shoe store to grab and go with another pair (perhaps this is one of their marketing strategies).

It may be unusual for an Asian girl with unusually large feet to be so much in love with shoes. So much so, I willingly squeeze the tremendous twins into pretty, pointy shoes. Today, my pedicurist lamented over the "sad" state of my feet (she actually used the very word more than once). Well, it was either that or letting my giant feet jut out there.

Many guys still don't get why girls need so many shoes. The reason couldn't be more obvious - women have and need a lot more choices. Fashion season changes. And we need different shoes to match different outfits.

Did you watch In Her Shoes? Boy, does Toni Collete's character have a rackful of gorgeous shoes. Her rationale is: shopping is no good, because nothing is right, eating makes you grow fatter, but shoes, they always fit. Obviously that doesn't apply to me, because my monstrous feet are best tucked into a pair of comfy sneakers and I don't even own one.

There's another character famous for her love of shoes - Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) of Sex And The City. She says on one episode: I spent $40,000 on shoes and I don't have a place to live? I'll literally be an old woman, who lived in her shoes.

Uhm, hope I don't turn like that.

PS: What do they say about women with large feet?

PSS: What's your expensive habit/guilty pleasure?

A good conversation

I like a good conversation. In a quiet setting over a cup of tea.

I'm disinclined to shout at the top of my lungs in non-conducive places like the pubs, clubs and some parties. So, I may seem "boring" to someone who meets me for the first time. But because first impression counts, people form certain judgement about you.

And I'm disinclined to sound clever on subjects I don't know very much about (like politics and religion). But I've observed some people talk as if they know a lot (but based on their answers, I can tell they know next to nothing).

But I'm open to non-judgmental discussion and picking the brains of others (that's how you learn, right?). And it's best carried out in a quiet, relaxing atmosphere, yes?

Last Saturday night, I spent a good five hours chatting to a married friend at her home. A few times her kids came down the stairs, announcing "Mummy, it's movie night". (I did try to make a move a few times, but somehow another topic of conversation came up - and I enjoyed it immensely, so did she, I reckon).

This gorgeous lady is my schoolmate, who's a housewife, 10 years older (but doesn't look like it) and has neither the same academic qualifications nor the same lifestyle as I. In short, she's the complete opposite of me. But we connected - as women.

Her family has always seemed to be a picture of a happy one. But she made me realise that's not true - perhaps we see it that way because we just wish things are that way. It gives us hope.

She let her guard down. And I'm very thankful for that. Because the feeling of sincere closeness is something...money can't buy.

She told me how she found out her hubby had an affair and how they worked through it. I must admit I was disappointed to hear about the affair at first. In addition to all the extra-marital affairs happening around me (I, for one, was a gullible "victim" once), it made me feel many people no longer treat marriage as sacred.

I cried. I don't know how it happened but I did.

Despite her grief, she understood her hubby and forgave him. She said something that struck me: Men may seem strong and dependable outside, but inside, they are vulnerable and need approval of their masculinity. Women, on the other hand, appear weak and dependent but we're actually made of sterner stuffs. Sometimes, we have to make them feel like a hero. If not, they may run to another woman, who can make them feel that way.

It made me review what I seek in a man. I've always wanted a man to be my partner, you know the whole equal status thing, where I don't have to play "games". But I view things differently now.

It's not a matter of equal status. It's about understanding what a man is made up of, and what makes him tick. If it makes him feel good to fix things for us, why not? After all, we expect our men to tell us we're the most beautiful woman in the world, even though we're bloated and have break-outs at that time of the month.

I think sometimes we forget to make our other half feel good, because we've got too "comfortable". The reason the courtship period seems more sweet is because we, more often than not, try to impress and make each other feel good. So, why not continue doing it after marriage, which is much more sacred than bgr (boyfriend-girlfriend relationship)?

I promise to treat my next man better. If he tells me "how shall I compare thee to a summer's day, thou art more lovely and more temperate...", of course.

Will you promise, too?

Re: The state of politics...

Ruling party vs Opposition : 82 - 2

Things haven't changed in the past two decades.

The state of politics...

Now, I normally skirt around the issues of politics and religion. They are sensitive and I'm not keen on ruffling feathers.

I know as much about them as the next-door kid, who hears things. My general opinion on politics is: you can get your hands dirty, and religion: it keeps you clean.

But as this is the first time I'm eligible to vote, but won't get the chance to slip that piece of paper into the polling box today (will explain later), I thought I might say a thing or two about the state of politics in Singapore.

First things first, the Singapore governing party is somewhat like a monarchy. It's ruled by the Lee family. Lee senior is ex-Prime Minister and currently presides over the state affairs as Minister Mentor (yes, that's actually an official title). Lee junior is the current Prime Minister (somewhat like the Bush family, eh). One thing I notice the Lees share in common is: they don't need a script to give a speech.

But the one man, who truly captured the heart of politics in Singapore, is James Gomez, a member of an opposition party. He claimed he had submitted his form to contest in the elections, but as it turned out, a CCTV footage showed him putting the form into his briefcase before exiting the Elections Department.

This is the sorry state of politics in Singapore. We have a crappy opposition. Which is why I don't even get to execute my right to vote. The outcome of the elections in my residential estate is a Walkover, meaning there's no oppostion contesting for us.

Now, I can tell you for a fact that many Singaporeans have a nonchalant attitude towards local politics. Not because we are a simple-minded bunch. But because we're not facing any great threats from the ruling party. At this point, I've to acknowledge that the Lees and their lackeys have done a pretty good job in turning a tiny nation into one of the most efficient cities in the world.

When I took a cab the other day, the driver told me to vote for the opposition - just to "shake things up". I don't advocate admitting crappy people into the parliament but I've to admit I, too, like things to be shaken up.

But before that can happen, we need a credible opposition. So, my friend posed me this question: "Why don't you join the opposition then?"

I shall skirt around the issue.

PS: But you don't have to skirt around the issue. Go on, unleash your thoughts.