Home is where the heart is...

The year has not wrapped up, but judging by how it has unfolded so far, it has been the most enriching year of my life.

It all began with my Italy trip in March. It was significant in many ways. Firstly, it marked that I have arrived - I feel empowered, having foot the bill and traverse - all on my own back(pack). The choices I've made has allowed me to live one of my two dreams, that is travelling (the other is writing for a living). I am, simply, happy.

Secondly, I fell in love. Not just with M, but with the country he was born in. Sure, a million other people probably feel the same way as I do after visiting Italy, but I'm convinced that I was probably an Italiana in another life. I love their slower pace of life, their passion for food as well as their work (be it a handy or desk job), their bond with family and friends, and of course, their old towns and countryside. These are the things that I value, and all these years, I've been trying ways and means to live some semblance of that life in city-centric Singapore.

I am at home in Italy. And then, I met M.

To be frank, I picked him to host me in Venice because he has my-type-of-guy looks. I thought, hey you're a single girl, let your hair down, throw caution to the wind, quit being prissy and have some fun for once. It turned out to be more than the holiday romance expected.

Fast forward to now. M left Singapore to return home just a few hours ago. I feel displaced after spending the past two whole weeks with him. Last night, we went to a rustic bar by the balmy beach. There was an acoustic band playing and I asked for Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight to be dedicated to him. He cried, then I cried, so we cried in each other's arms in the full view of the public, but we didn't care.

It felt real. And that's what matters to me.

For months, we had been holding ourselves back, not wanting to be swept up by the moment and having our heads in the clouds. We wanted to spend more time together, and find out the raw deal. Suffice to say, my best friend observed he's the male version of me. And we fought just like any other couple in a relationship.

At the airport today - after another round of tearful embrace - we bade each other with a presto (see you soon) instead of ciao (goodbye). I hope to make my way to Venice this Christmas, and I hope I can find some work in Italy in one year's time.

There's no reason for me to do otherwise, not when I feel at home in Italy. And with M. Never mind if it doesn't turn out to be forever. All I want to do is: live and let live.