Venus envy

My friend, S, is tall, slim, fair and has long hair. In other words, she's the traditional Asian ideal of beauty.

If I were a cynic and didn't know her better, I would have concluded she was trying to be cloyingly modest when she confessed she never felt as though she was a sight to behold. This is the same girl, who has legs that seem to go on forever and pouty lips that drove a male ex-colleague to whisper into my ears clandestinely, "Wish I could push your friend onto the table and make love to her right there".

But S has not lost her marbles, because she paled in comparison with that Eurasian girl in the eyes of advertisers, who put the mixed-blooded on a pedestal for their mass appeal. That girl with the almond-shaped eyes, sharp nose, sparkling skin, and all the best bits of the East and West.

It's hilarious how many people have bought into that idea of beauty, simply because only a certain type of look has been deemed worthy of being splashed across the giant billboards. If the media were to tout Miss Piggy as God's gift to mankind, I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the population say amen to that.

Surely, this must have been borne out of the human need to be socially accepted. If you're not in, you're out. And not many want to be outside the circle.

Anyway, S thinks that every guy, who has the hots for her, must have been stoked by her personality. Because she's not some kind of beautiful, right?

"Er, I don't think so," I told S. "Remember that ex-colleague of mine? The one who fell for you at first sight and followed you around like a puppy?"

Of course, at this point, she launched into a tirade against men. The numerous men, who had made advances towards her, while they kept their wives and kids at home. How she might have to accept the "fact" that she might just end up like one of those wives, sigh.

"Well, darling, you've to hold out for Mr Darcy (that English gentleman from Pride and Prejudice by author Jane Austen). He didn't marry Lizzie for her pretty head but rather for her beautiful mind," I pointed out.

"E! Life is not a movie or a book!", S said. (At this point, she thought I needed more rescuing than she does...)

Me: "But you see, darling, Mr Darcy does exist. Because I do. After all, we're humans, whether we're men or women. We're the minority, maybe. I just hope the men who falls within this category are not either gay or married."

S: "Well, I still don't think men go for me purely for my looks. You look more Eurasian than I do."

Ah, so, it's really all about venus envy, isn't it?

Untitled

There's an anchor
Pulling me down,
Down, down to you

Salt and water
Filling me up
'ver and above
Can't breathe, can't breathe

My feet have left, me
Floating, past my hands
Breaking the surface
Musn't sink, musn't sink

How I harbour you
And harbour you,
You, you, you

Manipulation

Okay, this post is going to sound very devious. And I've decided to call a spade a spade, as evident in the title.

During a conversation with my cousin the other day, I was sharing my experiences in managing relationships (of any kind). And he blurted out, "That's just a nicer way of putting manipulation across" (so be it).

The thing is, in every aspect of your life or in any line of profession, you've to work with people, and if you don't rub them the right way, life is going to be very difficult for you.

Maybe you can identify with some of these examples. Maybe you've done it unconsciously.

1) Seem sympathetic.
Some of my fellow co-workers seem to be busier than me. So, to make them feel more appreciated (and make me seem more hardworking!), I offer my help from time to time (of course, I'd rather be skivving somewhere else). Most of the time, they decline, because it's not my job. But when I make that gesture, I can see their eyes light up (dare I say with a tinge of gratitude). See, it's that simple. You don't even have to buy them snacks or pay compliments, which is such a blatant way of currying favour and get on some people's nerves.

2) Condescend those who condescend you.
Okay, I know you're supposed to be kind, let it go and all that. But I think people will continue messing with you if you don't put a stop to it. When someone picks on you for the sole purpose of feeling superior, hit him/her where it hurts, like: "Thank you for being frank with me. I must be frank with you, too. Perhaps you could speed up your working process." This is not taking revenge but making your stand.

3) Offer suggestions that fit YOUR agenda.
I do this all the time with clients. It also works with friends and family members (ah this is what I love about the anonymity of blog). Give them a million and one reasons (of course, these have to suit the context), so much so your ideas become theirs. Maybe it'll hit them later (sometimes it does). But the thing is, it's later and you've got your way. And they can't blame you because it's their fault for agreeing in the first place. This trick can be used over and over again, because many people don't have an acute sense of consciousness (tried and tested!).

4) Use positive words and always with a sincere smile.
Instead of saying "That's not right" (even if that's what's going through your head), say something like, "That's not quite what one would imagine". Seal it with a smile (which is always sincere if you believe in what you're saying). This is my favourite feedback from my dad (through my mum): "I can't take it. I think she's being sarcastic, but I'm not sure if I should get mad because she said it so sweetly!"

Wrapping up football

I hope it wasn't a racist remark that made Zidane bulldoze Materazzi like that.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2006/teams/france/5164094.stm

How ironic it would be if it were true, because before every game, the teams had pledged their support against racism. Backtrack to my previous posts for a better picture.

On a lighter note, Cue Gal, this artfully shot photo of Cannavaro's for you. I'd like to caption it as: "How we'd like to rough and tumble with the Azzuri captain". Click on image to enlarge.

Oh man, I'm so free. Twiddling my thumbs in the office.

Italy - World Cup 2006 champions

I'm ecstatic!

Italy triumphed over France with a penalty shoot-out* outcome of 6-4. They have reclaimed the coveted trophy after their last win in 1982!

Things got off to a shaky start for Italy when France scored a penalty* goal a few minutes into the game. But they bounced back with an equaliser in the first half when Materrazi netted a goal.

During extra time*, the game moved in Italy's favour when France's golden boy Zidane was sent off with the red card* for headbutting one of the Italian players.

I wished Italy had attacked more. I wished they didn't dive* so much.

Perhaps history is repeating itself - Italy facing a match-fixing scandal back home, just as it was the case in 1982.

But they won. And that's all that matters.

* Penalty shoot-out: one-on-one with goalkeeper. comes after extra time.
* Extra time: first half of game is 45min and second half of game is 45min. total 1hr 30 min. extra time of 30min comes after that.
* Penalty: awarded when opponent committed a foul near the goalpost
* Red card: player banned from the game after committing serious foul
* Dive: player exaggerating a fall to get referee to declare foul and award ball to his team

Colour

If you've caught any of the World Cup matches, you would have seen the footballers pledging their support against racism. How apt. That's one thing I love about sports. It unites people of all colours.

Here in Singapore, we're trying to unite people through sports. I'm totally for this idea. We have "racial harmony", more so than other countries. But this is something not to be taken for granted (we had racial wars forty, fifty years ago). It's a worthwhile cause that should continue to be championed.

Now I don't want to sound like an activist or something. People here have been jailed over leaving racist remarks on their blogs.

Earlier I watched Crash (damn good movie), which deals with this very sensitive subject. The gist is people walk a fine line between good and evil everyday in their lives.

Issues like these make me reflect on myself. Have I ever had racist thoughts? I'd be only lying to myself if I denied it. Do I feel bad about it? 100 per cent. Which is why I keep reminding myself that people are just people. There are good people and bad people. And their colour has NOTHING to do with it.

I encourage everyone to embrace friends from all races. Let's show there's humanity left in this world.

Italy is in the final!!!

I'm giddy with excitement (and also from the lack of sleep)!

Italy scored not one but two goals in the eleventh hour (last 5 mins of extra time)!

Del Piero scored one - it shows he still got it!

Top Italian footballers

Left: Francesco Totti, Right: Luca Toni



Fabio Cannavaro

Left: Paolo Maldini, Right: Alessandro Del Piero

Alessandro Nesta

The World Cup

Who's not talking about the World Cup? It's hard not to, when everywhere you turn to in Singapore, the spirit of football/soccer is alive and kicking (even though we're not in the World Cup, it's the most popular/loved sport here). Last night, I was at a club, watching Germany vs Argentina (more about that later). And when I rushed home to catch Italy vs Ukraine, there was my dad (and my mum, too!) tuned into the sports channel (strangely, my brother seemed unaffected by all of it).

I recall watching matches with my dad as a kid and asking a lot of questions. Essentially, he was the one, who taught me the rules of the game. But my induction into the game is the 1994 World Cup (because before that, I wasn't allowed to stay up late to catch the matches (due to time difference with the Western side of the world). From that year onwards, I decided to lend my allegiance to Italy and developed a profound respect for Brazil (who trounced Italy in the penalty shoot-out in the finals).

I wouldn't call myself a hardcore fan. I've watched football on and off over the years, a bit of the Italian, Spanish and English league and European Cup. But the World Cup, which comes once in four years, I make an effort to catch.

Last night, at the club, a Caucasian guy (he sounded German) came up to me during the Germany-Argentina half-time and said, "I noticed you're interested in the game. Are you in it for the guys or the game?" I replied, "Both, of course" (He found out my partiality to Italy and suggested we watch it at HIS place later. I giggled, shook my head and skittered over to my friends).

Okay, many girls I know find football very silly, "22 grown men chasing after one ball on the field". Then, there's another group of girls, who watch it just for the men and just doesn't get what offside means. But I'm passionate enough to round up the little boys (from the kindergarten I was interning at last month) to play football (with me pretending to be a clumsy goalkeeper). I would have joined a women's football team, if there were one in my secondary/high school days (I became a netball school rep instead).

Okay, I'm not going to bore you with the technical aspect of the game. May I just say that these players have gorgeous bodies, all lean and muscled, which they swerve and show off to great effect on the pitch (I love the slow-mo replay and pictures captured of them!).

I must say I'm very pleased with Italy's triumph of 3-nil over Ukraine this morning, Singapore time. They showed excellent teamwork and took an attacker's stance. Everyone loves Francesco Totti, but I'm going to keep my eyes on Luca Toni (pictured, with his cute victory hand wave), in the absence of Alessandro Del Piero (and since Paolo Maldini is not playing in the World Cup). They are up against Germany next, so that's going to be very an exciting game. Can't wait!