Fight or flight
The other day, one of my soon-to-be-married male colleagues asked me: "Are you sure you're not dating anyone (exclusively)?" I told him it's not easy to find a good match, to which he said: "Ah well, for girls it's a little different, isn't it? For men, sex is enough."
Wow, how brutally frank. I'm sure some men are not going to agree with him, but I think if a girl can keep a man interested through physical connection, he's not likely to stray.
I remember a line I read from a lad mag: "If a janitor looks like Maggie Q (pictured), we sure don't mind (making her our girlfriend)." I'm not subscribing to the male psyche through lad mags, but I can't simply brush it off either. While guys are more likely to go out with a Paris Hilton-hot girl, girls are less likely to go out with a Jesse Metcalfe-looking gardener (unless they're just in it for (secret) sex).
The guys I'm dating: they're always telling me how beautiful I am. Are looks what they are truly obsessed about or are they just saying it thinking that's what girls want to hear? Honestly, that's not what I want to hear. I want to hear about how good I am at my job, how good I am to my family and friends, how grounded I am as a person. I want to hear about my beautiful character.
My godsister believes that life is easier for beautiful people. First, you've got to be beautiful and then your talent gets noticed. She threw this question at me: "How is being proud of your looks different from being proud of your talent? Both are God given." I'm not denying that, but shouldn't talent matter more than looks? I can't help but become a sceptic when dating guys these days. I've half of a mind to put a faux scar across my face, just to see if he's going to stay and fight (to be with me) or take flight.
What say you, guys?
posted by Amelia Earhart @ 1:22 am
5 Comments:
Generally, men are as faithful as their opportunities.
Wow. another brutally honest comment.
I agree with what you are saying, however I also believe that it is one's looks which may first attract someone to you (or vica versa) and then the dating part is so that you can learn about the person and THAT is what makes someone stick around for the long term; looks will only keep someone interested so long.
In my experience girlfriends all look the same to me after about 2 weeks. I don't know if they're 'ugly' or 'beautiful'. It's a non-issue after the first five minutes of conversation.
Men - worth dating - tune into something far beyond looks when they're attracted to a woman. Ultimately it's a spiritual connection with shared values, some common interests and, hey, great sex.
I hear women like 'confident' men. Nobody seems to know what that really means. I don't understand your anxiety, Amelia. It baffles me. Just be yourself. Love yourself and the world will love you.
I'm just being paranoid and insecure. Maybe I've been exposed to far too many shallow men in my life.
You're right. Only men worth dating are worth my blog space. :)
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