Seven-year itch

My friend, N, who's 27, has just got divorced from her husband of nearly seven years. Which might prove that the seven-year itch is not just hearsay, after all.

There was no major blow-up in their marriage (even she conceded so). They simply grew apart, that's all.

Now, how in the world did it come to this when everyday, they lived under the same roof. Anyone would be wont to guess that they don't communicate enough, which does hold some truth.

They had often quibbled over the Little Things that eventually snowballed into a Big Thing. Then suddenly, one day they woke up and concluded, oh, this marriage is just not working out, so let's call it quits.

It sounds like a pretty lame excuse for bailing out of a marriage. But this is exactly what's happening everyday, faster than you can say "I do". Marriages are going the way of Hollywood. Once the passion has fizzled, it's time to throw in the towel.

Why was Divorce almost a taboo word forty, fifty years ago? Did people respect the sanctity of marriage more back then? Perhaps. Were women more willing to suffer in silence back then? Perhaps. Did men feel a stronger sense of responsibility over their family? Perhaps.

This is all very phobia-inducing for unmarried women like myself. To have the thought of divorce as a probability and marriage of a lifetime as luck. So, marriage is a gamble, they say.

But I refuse to assume that belief (or else, I'm bound to become a runaway bride many times over). You've got to decide to get married with your eyes wide open. Leave all these happily-ever-after fairytale notion of marriage in fiction land. You've got to remember that you love your partner for his/her good points and accept him/her with warts and all - for the REST of your life. Take commitment not as a lip service but as an oath as if you life depended on it. I guess you just have to find like-minded people like myself.

And stick to it, for goodness sake.

PS: Tell me why you would or would never get married.