Double lives

Earlier in the day, I interviewed two mums, who got sick. One battled with breast cancer last year, at the age of 29, and the other battled with life-threatening ectopic pregnancy (where the embryo is lodged in a fallopian tube) at the age of 38.

It was my idea: to find out how ailing mums cope with their family life. I got hold of the two newsmakers through routine check with people on my contact list.

It's a tricky thing, talking to ill-stricken people. On one hand, you've to be sympathetic, which is not a problem because I'm a softie. On the other, you've to be distant, lest you get too emotionally involved.

There are the hard questions, and one of them is: how do you get back to your physical relationship with your husband, especially after you've lost your breast or baby? I am amazed at how coolly these women take up the question.

I know these are going to be great stories. But they are more than just stories to me: they give a sense of renewed strength. Of living, against the odds. It beats celebrity journalism, which I used to do, any day.

After a good day at work, I went clubbing with my gal pals. I danced, drank and even kissed a stranger, which earned me a remark: "You're so wild. How do you go from doing what you do in the day and to doing what you do at night?"

Yes, sometimes I feel like I lead double lives (like the women have felt at a point in their lives).
But you know what, the most important thing is: I'm living.

How To Be Good

How to be good

Just a few minutes ago I concluded the last page of the titular book by Nick Hornby – which I got for a steal at a book sale (never mind its brown stained condition). I suspect it had been my subconscious mind at work that led me to pick up the novel. It was a good read anyway.

I like to ask people if humans are born good or bad, and I’ve got mostly extreme views so far. But I don’t think humans are inherently good or bad. We’re both and that’s why we’re constantly battling to have good triumph over bad.

It’s the time of the year when many people take the time to reflect and introspect, and my one and only New Year Resolution is to make life more meaningful for (in this order): myself, my family and my friends. I don’t believe in saving the world; I believe in saving those who are dearest and closest to us (first). Just imagine, if everyone does that, wouldn’t that already make the world a better place to live in?

I want to do things that I enjoy; things that nourish my soul. So I had gone out to sign up for (in no order of merit) 1) a language class (starting with Italian), 2) a music class (violin; a childhood dream of mine), 3) continue my dance class (salsa, still) and 4) a reading programme for underprivileged children. I’m not ashamed to confess that I’m doing all these for me, me, me, because they will give me satisfaction and make me happy, yes, happy – not happier (there’s no such thing), just happy. These things are not bad; therefore I’m learning How To Be Good.

Things with my family are generally fine – of course, there could always be improvements. But I would hesitate to meddle in their affairs (like my brother’s volatile relationship with his girlfriend). You know about good intentions going awry? I would instead lend my support in small, little ways to let them know they are being valued and appreciated in a place they call home (like getting my brother’s army graduation photo framed up). As for my friends, the least I could do is to be there for them whenever they need my help (which also means having to reshuffle priorities at times). The reason many people fail to keep up with their list of New Year Resolutions is that they think they can accelerate from zero to 100. Bad idea.

The final thing I want to do differently this year is my relationship (or lack of). If it comes, it comes, and I’m going to quit whining about it.

So, there, all set and raring to go!

PS: Hurrah, I managed to post!