When friends drive you crazy...

My two closest friends once told me (on separate occasions) that they would marry me if I were a guy. I simply smiled in return.

It's a compliment, considering women are the harshest critics of their own kind. But they seemed to have forgotten to ask if I would accept their proposals.

The truth is, I wouldn't. I love them (as much as I hate them at times) and that's perfectly normal - healthy even - in any relationship, including friendship. But as narcissistic as this may sound, I want to marry someone more like myself.

I'm calm, patient, level headed and always take a step back and look at the situation. I haven't arrived at this conclusion overnight - it has taken years of self-reflection and practice in order to be so acutely aware of myself and live up to the person that I set out to be.

My friends' lives seemed much more exciting, with ups and downs, the euphoria and the tears. And, dare I say, there had been times when I felt a sliver of envy. Men flock to them, because they're vivacious, unlike the sedated me, who doesn't throw a hissy fit because I broke a nail.

Let's start with N, whom I met through college:

She's the outwardly bad gal. Smart and beautiful, she puts herself before others. She's a Capricorn, hates animals, doesn't suffer fools and expensive gifts are the way to her heart. She lives the high life (very well, since she earned it herself) and likes men, who fit into her lifestyle. Life is one big bubble of fun for N, and if you burst it, she'll just find another. She's prone to acting on impulse and worry about it another day (it's called living life to the fullest, she says).

She once said to me, "You love me because I'm a cold-hearted bitch" - yes, there are days she really deserves a tight slap - but I told her: "No, I love you because you've a ray of light and I can only hope it'll become a beacon one day." She shines in the way she has shown generosity towards me and her family, and that shows she's not incapable of being a good wife and a good mother.

And then, there's S, whom I met through work:

She's the outwardly good gal. Also smart and beautiful, she's caring towards others. And that's a trait that's easy to love. She (take all of these literally) washes, cooks, cleans and mothers you, and stands up for animals, the elderly and the poor, and will give away her last cent and go on an empty stomach.

But if you as much as raise the tiniest objection, she makes the cliche, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', painfully real. Imagine, she's a Gemini, has thyroid problems and her moodswings change course faster than the viking ride at the fun fair. God, you've to seriously bite your tongue in order not to turn it into a ugly war of words.

Your closest friends can turn out to be toxic for your soul, serenity and sanity at times. And I deal with it by distancing myself away (I'll say, "I'm sorry, I'm terribly busy with stuffs" like contemplating whether I should actually tidy up my room). A time-out has really proven to be effective - those around you, who take you for granted, learn to appreciate you more, apologise profusely and try to make it up to you. And to forgive, oh, it's so divine.

So, this weekend, I shall take myself out, like I always do, for a trek at the Macritchie rainforest, drop by the Animal Resort and feed the rabbits and ponies, whip up a mean mushroom curry dish and enjoy it while raging or raving over the daily news reports, and sashay my tush down to the salsa club - not as the exciting La Nina but as the cool summer's breeze.

PS: How do you deal with toxic friends? Drop me a note.